"... it's going to be a fun time..."

''We have a high level of confidence, and it's going to be a fun time," said Kris Mineau, president of the Massachusetts Family Institute, a group leading the initiative effort. ''It will energize our base. . . . Our strategy is to let the people vote." [Link]

The above quote is in response to the signature drive effort needed to put a question on the ballot to define marriage as one man and one woman and make same-sex marriages illegal again.

I'm glad to know that the wonderful people at the MFI think its going to be fun to take away my ability to eventually marry the man I fall in love with and wish to make a family with. I'm glad to know that its fun to push the rhetoric to such a fever pitch that it demonizes gays and lesbians. I hope they still think its fun when their hate spurs someone to take a stronger, more extreme approach to the issue and maybe just do a little bit of physical intimidation of gays or worse.

If this is their brand of fun I'm very glad I have no part of it. That a religion that preaches tolerance and love of your neighbor could be so cold and hurtful is astonishing. What little respect I had for the Christian faith is rapidly diminishing.

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Dance, dance, dance

The number one issue I have going out to clubs is that by 1am I'm dragging and am starting to watch the clock to leave. Well, I've found the solution to that problem; Red Bull and vodka. Why oh why didn't I discover this sooner? This now will become my official drink of clubbing, and on nights that I don't feel like drinking I'll simply have Red Bull straight up.

Well last night was a TON of fun. I went out with Max to Rage and had a great time. It was awesome hanging out with him and it sure is a lot of fun to dance with him. :) It sucks that Max and I have such busy schedules cuz I love spending time with him and I miss him a lot in between times. At any rate I'll be bringing him to the cast party so that should be a good time. I hope someone is bringing the limes and the tequilla! ;)

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Hey old friend...

Wow, its like all my old friends are just coming out of the wordwork now. Its great.

Last saturday I had dinner with Colin, his girlfriend Kristin, and Kristin's roommate Meg. It was a great time and it was great to hang out with everyone. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed spending time with Colin, and I didn't realize how much I missed him. Amazing how much you take for granted someone when you live with them and see them on a regular basis. Hopefully I can rectify that during his last year at WPI.

Tuesday I finally got back in touch with Andrew after not seeing him or chatting with him since we were supposed to get together back in late August. It was nice to hang out with him and we ended up going to Cafe Dolce (my favorite cafe). When we got there who should I run into but John Schnelle, whom I've also been trying to get in touch with for weeks and I haven't seen him in months.

Its weired that within a week I've reconnected with three different friends (2 in one night!) that I haven't seen in a while. Who knows if this a trend or not but I hope so, I always love seeing old friends.

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Well the world gets a repreive

So yesterday the Massachusetts legislature voted 157-39 to vote down the Gay Marriage Amendment that sought to repeal gay marriage while creating Civil Unions in its place. Of course the fights not over, especially not with the 2008 Marriage Protection Amendement certified to get signatures at this point, but you have to enjoy the victories you do get along the way, otherwise you'll just go insane.

Its amusing that the MFI (Massachusetts Family Institute) a highly conservitive, anti-gay, faith-based, "family values" group also hailed this vote as a victory for their side. They said that we only got the votes to defeat it because conservative legislators who didn't want to create any same-sex state-recognized covenant voted against it.

I find it laughable that they really can delude themselves that they were the ones who gave us this victory. When co-sponsers and co-authors of the bill have come out against this year then you know its not just simple maneuvering. Many legislators who voted for the amendment last year have come out against it this year stating that they realized now that allowing same-sex marriages has done nothing to take anything away from opposite-sex marriages and that the world hasn't ended. Also legislators don't feel comfortable taking away a right that now exists and is being actively used by the populace. They say before it was theoretical and it was easier to think about banning it, but now its real and it isn't hurting anyone.

At this point, I'm still tired from fighting the fight, but I also will say this to anyone who wants to try to take away my right to marry, "Bring it on." The gays of this state are here and we aren't going anywhere. We are renewed after this victory and are ready to do what it takes to keep on winning the next victory.

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Fuck the world

I'm so very very tired. I'm tired of the hate. I'm tired of the prejudice. I'm tired of being told I'm less of a person and I'm tired of dealing with this over and over and over again.

Today the newest anti-gay marriage initiative was certified. What this means is that the religious right will begin their campaign to fully remove all rights to gay marriage with absolutely no recognition for same-sex couples.

While this means that the current constitutional amendment that was passed last year to codify marriage as between one man and one woman with civil unions for same sex couples, will likely be defeated. That is to a degree good news, but not by much.

This also means that once this new amendment gets 65,825 signatures it will go before the legislature requiring only a 25% vote in two consecutive constitutional conventions. While we may have enough votes to stop a legistlative amendment (which requires simple majority - 50% +1 vote) there's not a lot of hope we can kill it outright at 25%.

I don't understand why people have so much hate in them. Why can't they leave us alone. Do they honestly think I chose this life? To have to fight constantly for repsect and recognition? How dare they say that this "lifestyle" is a choice.

I DIDN'T FUCKING CHOOSE TO BE GAY!!!

WHAT'S SO FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND THAT I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS BULLSHIT!!

I didn't want to be gay. I stayed in the closet for years hoping it was a phase, hoping the truth that I knew deep down was wrong. It didn't stop me from being gay. Nothing stopped me; not trying to date women, not being a part of a fraternity, NOTHING! Being gay is simply a part of who I am and at this point I wouldn' t change it for anything because it is who I am. But there are times that I get tired of fighting and convincing and campaigning to be treated like a fucking human being. Tomorrow or the next day I will get back up and resume the fight but for tonight I'm tired, simply tired.

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Grapes of wrath

I don't know what it is but there's nothing quite like a nice glass of wine to calm the spirits and relax the mind. A nice glass of red wine is quite simply the best thing in my opinion to help soften the edges of a hard day. Its even better to share with a friend over good conversation.

My friend Dani is talking a lot lately of how she wants a boyfriend and its really started me thinking that I'm kinda lonely. I have plenty of friends, don't get me wrong, but I miss the things you have when you are with someone. My last boyfriend was Tim over a year ago. He was a sweetie but something just wasn't there and it just wasn't fair to keep things going and potentially hurt him even more later. That's the hardest part of when I date is that if I am fairly certain it won't last I end it. Its also why I feel I've been able to be friends with all my exes.

Now before anyone gets all holier than thou and ever so politely reminds me that I'm super picky and haven't exactly put myself out on the market for anyone, yes I know you are right. I have plenty of excuses; I'm too busy, I can't afford a relationshiop right now, etc. I know most of them are bullshit and its just a defense mechanism to not get hurt.

I've had friends tell me the point is not to find "Mr. Right" but to find "Mr. Right Now". While I can appreciate that viewpoint, and I can understand those that say I need to "live" by playing the field, I really don't think I do. What I want is find someone who is smart, intelligent, good looking, sweet, tender, has a sense of adventure, cultured, sophisticated and someone I can fall in love with. Sex really isn't my end-all-be-all. I know I'm not going to find him if I don't take chances, if I don't put myself out there. As Dani says, "No balls, no game". I'm getting there, really I am. Its a slow process but I'm tyring to work it out. I promise not to whine and bitch about it too much, if you promise not to harrass me about not having the guts to get out there.

I want to fall in love, I want to be swept off my feet, I want to be overcome with emotion. This is hard when most gay men want sex, sex and more sex. Its also hard because you have to find a gay man among all the straight ones. Its hard because most of the online ad people are not attracticve, pricks, older men that I don't want to go near, people who simply want sex or just empty individuals. Call me old fashioned but I don't want to just fuck.

I need to stop making the wrong choices. I finally stopped falling for friends, I've mostly stopped seriously crushing on the straight ones and I need to stop falling for ones that have key criteria that make it not worthwhile to even try to get involved with them.

Well I think I've been sappy enough for one evening.

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