Give my regards to Broadway

After political rants, baring of souls and other heavy things, let’s get to some lighter fare.

 

On the weekend of October 1, I went down to NYC for Missa Gaia, which is an “Earth Mass” by Paul Winter celebrating the Feast of St. Francis at St. John the Divine church in NYC.  As it was last year, it was a fun time.

 

The most incredible part of the weekend was on Friday when some friends and I went to see A Little Night Music.  This is the musical by Sondheim that has “Send in the Clowns”.  My friend John got tickets in the second row, just right of center!  It was incredible to be that close to the stage.  Additionally, the show had Bernadette Peters and Eileen Stritch in the production.  Seeing those two grande dames of the stage was one of the most incredible experiences of my life!  Watching Bernadette Peters sing “Send in the Clowns” was one of those experiences that I’ll be able to always say “I was there when…”

 

In two weeks I’m back to NYC to see Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake.  This production takes the traditional ballet production and turns it on its head with an all male corps de ballet.  Best part about this is that I get to spend some long overdue time hanging out with my friend Pace.

 

I have to say, there are times when I’d love to be living in NYC, just for the option to head to a show whenever I wanted.

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Tomorrow

Well, I can’t say enough how much I have appreciated all the kind words I’ve received after posting my “letter”.  That it moved some of you to tears, moved me as well.

Tomorrow (Wednesday, October 20, 2010) many people will be wearing purple to honor the 7 boys who have committed suicide in recent weeks due to homophobia and bullying as well as all of those who have been and continued to be bullied.

One of my favorite songs, especially when my days are grey and lonely is “Tomorrow” from Annie; which incidentally was the first musical I ever saw.  My Mom took me when I was 8.  So as you see it’s her fault I’m gay ;)

Additionally, Matt Doyle and other Broadway stars have put together a new song for the "It Get’s Better” project.

Remember – wear purple tomorrow!

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A letter to past me, from future me

I saw a letter like this on a gay advice column and I felt the need to do the same in light of the recent spate of lives that have been tragically cut short due to suicide and related to homophobia and bullying.  I thankfully never got to a point where I considered ending my life, but there were times I did want to run away from it all.  I was lucky to have the love and support of family and friends.  Some kids aren’t so lucky.

Dear Tommy,

 

I wish this letter would find you well, but I know that you are having a rough time right now.  You are thinking about the upcoming year at Junior High School.  You’re still drying your tears from the sobbing you did, begging Mom and Dad to send you to a private Junior High.  They told you to hold on for a bit longer and it will get better, and in the end they will be right.

 

The taunting, harassment, and teasing seems unbearable at the moment, and you want to disappear to some place where nobody knows you and you can start over.  You are tired of being called a girl, a sissy, and other names.  You’ve always been strong, and you’ve learned over the years not to cry, because crying just makes them tease you more.

 

I wish I could tell you that every day would be better, but we both know that wouldn’t be realistic.  Next year the boys will learn some new taunts, such as “gay boy” and “faggot” and that will be rough, but you’ll also have some great friends who will help you through it.  Your friend Chris in particular will stick up for you and have a few words with people and it’ll soon die down.  You’ll even begin to enjoy school forgetting that you ever wanted to go somewhere else.

 

In high school, you’ll have a few years before the whispering and the teasing starts up again, but by this time you’ll have more confidence to handle it on your own.  You’ll use that head of yours to turn things around and stand up for yourself, just like Mom and Dad said you would.  It won’t be the easiest thing, but you will be better for having gone through it.

 

In college, you’ll figure some other things out and make some life long friends that help you deal with everything that you’ve held tightly inside for so many, many years.  Most importantly, you won’t be alone.

 

I can tell you that eventually, you’ll be successful, confident and most importantly happy.  It won’t happen overnight.  You’ll have your battles to fight, but you’ll come out stronger every time.

 

So dry those tears, go to sleep and get ready to show the world that we never back down, we just keep moving forward.

 

Sincerely,

 

Tom, Age 31

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Hate is not a family value

One thing I’m not shy about on my blog are my feelings about gay rights and what I’ve gone through as a gay man over the years.  I’m pretty lucky overall.  I have a loving and supportive family, friends who support me for who I am and organizations, such as my fraternity, that have always made me feel at home.  This has made me a very strong and confident gay man who is at peace with myself, comfortable with my sexuality and able to deal with the ignorance, bigotry and outright hatred that is in the world.

 

In the recent months there have been 6 boys from middle school to college age that have taken their lives, rather than live with the bullying and harassment that they were subject to, sometimes on a daily basis.

 

Recently, Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council (one of those “Family Values” coalitions that seek to eliminate any and all gay rights, as well as anything else that they don’t find fit into their small minded views") was given a platform for his views by the Washington Post as part of their desire to hear “both sides” of the gay teen suicide issue.  In this diatribe he turned around and blamed the problem on the Gay community.  Here’s an excerpt:

 

“Some homosexuals may recognize intuitively that their same-sex attractions are abnormal--yet they have been told by the homosexual movement, and their allies in the media and the educational establishment, that they are ‘born gay’ and can never change,” he wrote. “This--and not society's disapproval--may create a sense of despair that can lead to suicide.”

This is classic “blame the victim”.  The consistent cry from the religious far right is that homosexuality is a choice, that’s it’s learned and that you can be “cured”.  This is their basis for why there shouldn’t be gay marriage.  They argue against gay adoption because it could turn the children gay.  Now they are saying that the hate and hostile environment that groups like them foster isn’t the problem, it’s merely that the Gays are saying that homosexuality cannot be changed that is causing these children to take their own lives.

 

I have a few thoughts on this.

1. For the straight people reading this, when did you decide to be straight?  At what point did you actively consider, try out and process going either straight or gay? 
2. I am a gay child of straight parents.  Most gay children come from straight parents.  How exactly will gay parents influence their children any more or less than straight parents?
3. The American Psychiatric Association has long since moved away from the idea that homosexuality is a condition that can be “cured”.  Also, how often have we heard of members and leaders of these groups that preach the ability to change and be straight ending up embroiled in gay sex scandals? (George Rekers, Eddie Long, Ted Haggard)

 

The one thing that I take consolation in is that in the long run progress and understanding only move forward.  It won’t happen overnight, but I know that in my lifetime I will see a time when gays are equal to straights in all ways.

 

How to help and show support:

• There is currently a movement to recognize this unfortunate trend of gay suicide and in honor of those lives which have been cut far too short, on October 20 everyone is being encouraged to wear purple.  I will be doing so and invite you to do the same.
• It Get’s Better Project: A website to show lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth that it does get better and that suicide is not the answer
• The Trevor Project: A national crisis and suicide prevention hotline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth.

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A little bit odd

So, anyone who knows me would agree that I’m a bit of a Type A personality.  I like to plan, and organize, and have a process for things.  I can be spontaneous when needed...   

 

…but only with proper planning :)

 

At any rate, I am able to laugh at myself a bit for this and I had a moment of self-awareness about this trait of mine yesterday as I was working out budget numbers, reconciling transactions and getting everything added up and organized.  Once it was done I was incredibly happy, at ease and relaxed.

 

I’m a bit of a dork, aren’t I?

 

Well that’s all for now.  I promise to try to write more regularly.  I unfortunately am not the natural writer that my friend Dani is. :)

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